November 30, 2008 at 3:37 pm (General, General/Everything)
For reference, here are my last pair of glasses-
And here are my new glasses! I like them! Whatcha y’all think?
Guess how much I forked over for these?
A whooping eight dollars!!!! That’s right! Only eight measly bucks, plus shipping, for a total of $12. I am thrilled with these and with their service. Whose service, you ask?
I got them from ZenniOptical.
I will be buying from them again- I’ll get sunglasses too. It’s only an extra $5 to have any of these tinted to turn them into sunglasses. Not bad at all! If you want to get glasses from there too, here’s some advice.
1- You will need to have an eye exam to get your prescription, and before you leave, don’t forget to swing by the optical section and have them use the funny camera gadget they press on your forehead to measure your pulipary distance- this isn’t on the prescription. I had to go back to the office, but they were real nice and quick about it. If you already have insurance that covers eye exams, great! No need to use the copay for glasses because you are getting them elsewhere.
2- Look thoroughly as you browse the website. I’ve discovered that they rotate styles. If you see a style you absolutely love, snap it up. I saw one that I really liked with butterflies on the rims, but those are gone and they have new different ones up.
3- Don’t just glance at the top page. If you like the shape of a pair, click on it- most of them come in an assortment of colors and patterns for the same style. I almost did not get the ones I have on now because I wasn’t sure I wanted blood red glasses, but I’m glad I clicked on it because it turns out the same style had three different colors to choose from and I went with brown/beige combo.
Other than that- go for it if you need glasses. At that price, why not have a few pairs you can rotate between- I am going to be getting another pair soon. I’m watching Zenni for new styles, maybe the butterfly glasses will come back.
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November 30, 2008 at 2:59 pm (Children and Parenting, Snicklebritches, Wigglebutt)
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November 28, 2008 at 8:09 am (Children and Parenting, General/Everything)
Tags: Christmas traditions, fear, molestation, Santa Claus
It’s now officially holiday season. This also brings the dreaded Santa Claus season. I hate Santa Claus. More specifically, I hate guys dressed up in Santa suits. They make me nervous. Whenever I see a Santa walking around and he waves at me or my children, I am seized by the urge to run screaming in the other direction and save my babies from the bad Santa. There is no way I will ever let my children sit in any Santa’s lap. I am convinced that most guys dressing up as Santa are closet pedophiles who get off on children in their laps. Santa figurines also make me uncomfortable and I want to destroy them, focusing on particularly the crotch area. When I was two, Santa did bad things to me, things that has given me nightmares ever since. I bear physical and emotional scars from the… incident. There it is. Santa terrifies me.
Here’s the thing. My husband insists on doing Santa with our children for Christmas. He has good memories of Santa and all the mystique that comes with it, I guess. The whole leaving a dish of cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer thing. The whole ritual of asking the children if they heard that?! Could that be Santa on the roof? Quick, get to bed! The whole tradition of finding presents under the tree from Santa. I don’t want to do all that, but he is also their parent. He has a say in this. So I have conceded.
We will do somewhat of a Santa tradition. He can take the kids to see Santa himself and I don’t want to see the pictures. He can do the whole “do you hear that?” game with them, but I have an excuse to back out of that one, being deaf and all. I love cooking and I like eating cookies even more, so I don’t mind that either. But it’s the gifts I have a big issue with. I am worried that having the children think all of this is from Santa that they will have to do whatever a man in a Santa suit tells him/her to do or be on the bad list every year. I am worried that their adoration of Santa and everything he stands for will make them more vulnerable and easy targets for men in Santa suits.
I nixed the gifts from Santa idea, sorry sweetie, but I offered a compromise. Stockings. We can get stockings and whatever is inside is from Santa. We will fill the stockings on Christmas Eve, let them find the half-eaten cookies, the glass of milk empty, and full stockings. I’m thinking practical and junk food. Candy and a toothbrush. School supply refills such as stationery, pens, etc. Art supplies. Socks and underwear. Things they need, so they start seeing Santa as someone who brings them practical things, not wild things. That can be the family’s job.
So… there it is. Had to get that off my chest and to offer my friends a little bit of understanding of why I avoid areas I know will have Santas or otherwise, I try to not see them and quickly leave wherever I am. That’s the reason for my seemingly adorable quirk, only it’s more sinister.
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November 27, 2008 at 9:47 pm (Deaf)
Tags: Deaf, family, stress, Thanksgiving
without slowing down to see if we needed any assistance when the car broke down on I-44. There was three cars that slowed down to ogle the smoke coming from the radiator but nobody actually offered to help us; even when they could see we had two terrified screaming babies in the backseat. It got me thinking… I do the exact same thing. When I see a family broken down on the side of the highway, I zoom on by because I figure they have someone on the way already. It’s sad that society has come to the point of being wary of all strangers, even families. I am the same way.
And no, I don’t think I will slow down for the next car I see broken down on the side of the road, because how do I know this is a harmless person or if this is someone to be wary of. We never can really tell the difference those days.
It has been a crazy Thanksgiving and I am thankful that I married into a family that is willing to come help us when we need it and I hope they know that I’ll extend the same grace to them when they need it. It has been a long day, but all of my dishes went over well except for one- the spicy honey butter to use on rolls and turkey. Hey, more for me!
I finally got to meet Tara, but I didn’t get the chance to actually introduce myself. Tara is my nephew’s girlfriend and carrying my unborn grandniece. I’m so excited that my daughter will have a girl cousin to play with. They will be a year apart- maybe as teenagers they will be great friends or on the other hand maybe they will hate each other. We never know. I’m curious about their name choices, but I also shouldn’t pry. I am a name-nut. I love names, talking about them, discussing the meanings of them and whether or not they’re the correct etymological meaning. Any other name nuts out there reading my blog? *waves*
I didn’t feel too bad about being deaf this time around because the two babies kept me hopping. There was a bit of downtime when both were resting that had me constantly asking my husband “what? What are you all talking about? What? oh. What? Wait, who’s she talking to (looking around) oh, she’s talking to Bill, what’s she talking to bill about?” As you may have guessed, my darling husband got a little annoyed by that but he has gotten used to it by now- he says it’s just part of having a deaf wife.
When I am stressed out, I look for patterns- for example, today when I was stuck in a smoking car, I counted the cars that went by us on the off ramp. It keeps me calm. What do you all do when you’re stressed out? Maybe share tips, with a stressful season headed our way.
I’ll quit rambling for now.
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November 24, 2008 at 2:32 pm (Bible, Losses)
Tags: Bible, Christian, comfort, suffering
While reading my Bible, I came across 1 Peter 4:12-13, which I had already marked up and jotted notes in the margins about. (My bible is full of highlighted text in different colors and notes to myself about my thoughts on different verses and concepts; it’s almost like a diary.) This passage states “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad – because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering, and afterward, you will have the wonderful joy of sharing his glory when it is displayed to all the world.” Plus my own notes in the margins about this passage go… “When going through difficult times allow it to push me closer to God and have joy in trusting Him, don’t get mad at God; embrace God for it.”
I had written this and highlighted this passage when I was going through the rough period of divorcing my first husband and being abused throughout the process. I highlighted this and prayerfully pointed out to myself that I should take joy in the Lord thinking of trials as physical abuse and physical suffering. You know; like finding that happy place in your mind so that you’re able to ignore what’s going on while you’re being hurt by someone else? Reading this today, I realize that trials also can refer to financial duress and the emotional stress of watching a child get sick and be diagnosed with something that one isn’t prepared to deal with or even just being in labor before giving birth. I was sad to figure out that I was pretty closed-minded on what suffering constitutes. What a wake-up call! I didn’t want to hear these words from God in my mind, I wanted God to sympathize with me, to uplift me and baby me back into a godly attitude. Now I realize there are many more levels to what suffering is and that it can be emotional distress too. I admit that I was taken by surprise and I thought it all was overwhelming and strange to be going through all what I did with Wigglebutt and with the job juggle that my samurai had to undergo as a result of this. It says right there in the verse I shouldn’t be surprised, but rather, be glad. I wish I remembered this verse last year during Wigglebutt’s big seizure. I got mad at the situation and frustrated with God. I should’ve let this situation push me to embrace God. Instead, I tried to turn to other people. That’s why I failed so miserably finding someone to comfort me… because I should’ve turned to the Lord in the first place! So I thought that I would blog about this information because I know a few of you are going through rough times right now too and maybe this will comfort you as it did me.
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November 23, 2008 at 6:10 pm (Children and Parenting, Losses)
Tags: baby, children, loss
Although this is a joyous time of the year, today is bittersweet. Six years ago today, I lost my baby- a baby that I have named Nathaliel Silas. Yes, Nathaliel instead of Nathaniel. I liked the way that the softer ‘l’ rolled off my tongue, the way I could almost just breathe the last syllable out. I said na-THA-liel and Silas was the usual way of pronunciation. His father could have cared less that he did not survive the pregnancy, so I got to name him all by myself without any input. The loss of Nathaliel baffled Dr.Fay in Waterville and she did all sorts of tests to see why the baby wasn’t doing well in my tummy. Something about the scar tissue in my uterus calcifying, I’m not sure and I don’t care anymore. I have since had two miracle babies!
Still… the loss of my son Nathaliel hurts – and it hurts even more to not hold my other living son, Trinity. I have felt the heartache of child loss too many times. Even just once was too much. I have nothing to remember my children by. So I have commissioned an artist to draw/paint me a memorial. I’m anxious, excited, and nervous all at once. I now understand how expectant fathers feel. They’re anxious for the moment their child is handed to them, yet they are terrified they won’t fall in love instantly. It’s kind of like that for me and the memorial. I requested butterflies to represent my children among a lot of lilacs because I just love lilacs and “Unforgettable” in there. I won’t ever forget my children, no matter how hard I try. Sure, I will forget their birthdates and gone-dates, but I won’t ever forget them. If you asked me to rattle the dates off at a random time, I would have a brain freeze. But at the quiet stillness of the nights, I remember every one of my thirteen babies and their dates.
Nathaliel Silas, Happy Unbirthday and sweet dreams my little darling one. I love you and I always will. I look forward to meeting you one day, many many years later.
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November 22, 2008 at 10:59 pm (Deaf, General/Everything)
Tags: cooking, Deaf, family, isolation, Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is right around the corner. That means I have been cooking up a storm! I’ve finally finished all of my Turkey Day shopping and I have the whole week planned out. I enjoy Thanksgiving because it gives me something to do. I consider myself a good cook and I like making others feel good with the food I make. Last year, my nephew wanted to take all the leftovers home and I consider that a compliment, which is why I am making extra this year! I’ve also slacked off a bit on my book with the whole holiday rush, not to add in the fact that I have been a little depressed because I’m worried about Trinity, my son.
Anyways, I am sure that my family is serving the usual- deviled eggs, roast turkey, vegetable dishes, and rolls. I am bringing a turkey for Michael to smoke, chipotle honey butter to serve on the turkey, gingered cranberry orange relish, my own invention of an upside banana cake, a lazy variation of pumpkin pie, Boston baked beans, garlicky baby carrots, sweet potato bonbons (a new one I’m trying out- it’s marshmallow stuffed sweet potato dumplings), ANNNDDDD the one that my nephew drooled over last year- my twice baked potato casserole!
So what about all of you- what is on your Thanksgiving menu?
There is one downside to the holidays- I end up being left out a lot. They don’t mean to, they just aren’t fluent in sign language, but I often end up standing there desperately trying to keep up and then just sit on the couch and watch t.v. I hope they let me watch the game… I wonder who’s playing. Hmmmm…
Those of you deaf with hearing families/inlaws, how do you cope with feeling left out?
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November 20, 2008 at 6:51 pm (Deaf)
I’ve been busy lately and I have also been feeling blah. One thing after another kept on coming up. I recently discovered that my son’s grandmother passed away. I’ve been sad about that. I’ve also been contacted by my ex-husband’s fiancée, who is now his ex-fiancee. She strongly urged me to rush the child custody case, but it’s already moving as fast as it can go. We just have to come up with the funds. It feels like I keep on hitting roadblock after roadblock when pursuing the right to have the chance to be my son’s mommy. I am his mother, I always will be, but I want to be his caregiver. I want to be his mommy. When I found out that she left him and his grandma died, that means my son is all alone with his father with nobody to keep him accountable. Well, maybe the schools will, but I don’t know if I can count on a middle school to keep tabs on all of their students.
Enough about my son.
I’ve also been busy meeting with politicians, key people within the mental health community, and people who has a strong influence on the deaf community. I still have more meetings to try to get set up, but I have learned of many things that could benefit us all. There is a bill in the workings to provide the deaf access to counselors through telecommunication. It will cost $1.7 million dollars, however, with the economy taking the downturn that it is, it will be a challenge for all of us to push that through the system. I plan to contact more politicians after term starts up and I will check back in with those that I have already met with.
One of these people is Stephanie Winslow, Director of Deaf Services in DMH. Now, I realize she is the new kid on the block, but I have found her to be a genuinely helpful asset to our cause. If you are in this area and you are deaf- give Stephanie a chance. Contact her and tell her your story. She is ready to hear from all of you. She wants to hear from all of you. How can she help tell the state of Missouri what the deaf needs if you all won’t tell her? If you don’t know how to contact her, comment below and I will email you with her contact information and forward your email along to Ms. Winslow. She is fluent in sign language, she understands deaf culture, she realizes we are not all alike, so what is stopping you from talking to her? If it’s the confidentiality you are worried about; you absolutely can ask her to withhold your information. But she needs all of our stories to make a difference. We all need to contribute.
You also can email your state representative and your state senator. They are real people too, you know. Don’t be intimidated by them. They work for us. Yes, they do. A representative stands up for us in our place. But how can the representative stand up for you if you don’t let him/her know what you need, what you want changed, and why. You need to contact your representative and ask to talk to him/her. That is their job. They take our agendas to the capitol on our behalf. Let them know how many deaf there is in their districts!
If I can do it, you can too! What are you waiting for?
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November 17, 2008 at 2:43 pm (Children and Parenting, General/Everything, Snicklebritches, Wigglebutt)
Tags: camera, glasses, Snicklebritches, Wigglebutt
I finally managed to rescue a few off the camera. The laptop is dying and we are scrambling to get the files saved and somehow getting another one so I can continue to work on my book. We’ll make it all work out somehow.
Here, I won’t password protect this set of pictures- that’s a rarity.
Here’s Snicklebritches. Yes, she always smiles like that. To tell you the truth, it can get creepy when you wake up to a sweet baby girl with that grin two inches away from your face. Sheesh! Girl, don’t do that to me!
And here is my Wigglebutt. He rarely makes eye contact, but he does make eye contact when he feels like it and he is able to focus on things, just so I don’t have a bunch of you suggesting he has autism- he’s already been evaluated and he has developmental and cognitive delays, but no autism spectrum disorder.
And here is a self-portrait. My glasses are all taped up because the frame twisted and broke thanks to an unnamed set of little fingers. I just ordered glasses online and I will definitely blog about them when they get here. I’m excited!
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November 13, 2008 at 2:51 pm (Deaf)
Tags: ASL, Deaf, miscommunication, misunderstanding, SEE, sign language
Over on Bill Creswell’s blog, he shows a Jib Jab deodorant commercial, which I have included below. I think it’s hilarious because it strikes a chord of truth for me. So many times I’ve seen others misunderstand sign language or sign something wrong and they offend me or someone else that’s deaf. One time at work, my boss was signing to me and another deaf man by moving her C-shape hand down her chest over and over in an urgent fashion. Larry’s eyes bugged out of his head and shook his head while slowly backing away from her and signed “Not me, Not me” (Thumb from under the chin/finger on chest) She was very confused and I told her “Uh, Larry is married. We are sorry you are horny, but he is married.” Now it was her turn to turn crimson and she shook her head and said “oh no, no, I meant I am very very very hungry.”
We all burst into laughter and I explained that yes, that sign for hungry is the same sign for horny ONE TIME. You don’t sign that you are starving by signing that over and over, that becomes “very very desire (horny), but to sign starving, you sign hungry then make a circle over stomach and make a facial expression of groaning to show that you are very hungry. or to show you are so hungry you could eat a lot, you sign hungry then move your hands towards your mouth as if stuffing your mouth full.
American Sign Language is different from Signed English and it’s a challenge to not end up insulting someone, even I have done that. Once, I accidentally asked another girl on my football team if she drinks lesbians. Oh yes, I did and *I* am deaf and I grew up SEE. I’m slowly switching to ASL, with a lot of funny misunderstandings along the way, much like this video below. Enjoy.
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